Thursday, 27 November 2014

Because it was there

I'm at home at the moment, slowly recovering from a groin strain.  With some strong painkillers at last making inroads into some of the worst pain I can ever remember experiencing (in fact at the outset it was so bad I thought I must have got appendicitis - but the Doc when she examined me said not) I'm trying to rest and let nature take its healing course.  I've done something I'd thought of doing before on a number of occasions, which is to do the food shopping online.  I had been put off by pretty steep delivery charges as well as horror stories from people I know who've tried it, but the effect of what I suspect is quite keen competition in the market has resulted in a 24-hour turnaround process with some midweek timeslots of only £1 for the delivery.  So my first order arrived yesterday afternoon, complete and with no weird substitutions, and dead on time - well, two or three minutes early, actually.

The other side-effect of my 'convalescence' has been that I wasn't able to go to my Italian classes this week or last.  Which prompted me to think some more about the question of whether I really wanted to continue with them.  The clincher is/was that in contrast to my enthusiasm four years ago I wasn't really enjoying them much anymore - which in turn raised the question of what the point was of continuing with something you don't like and don't actually have to do.  I began to realize that I'd fallen into the trap of re-enrolling for another year just because it was there rather than because there was anything (such as an eventual qualification) specifically in view at the end of it.  While it's arguably not altogether wise to take decisions under the influence of feeling in pain and generally under the weather, I emailed the tutor to say I'd decided not to carry on.

Thinking back to the debacle which marked the end of my first attempt to learn Italian and which I wrote about in my last entry, I'm not about to give up a second time.  If I've learned anything at all from that, it's that opportunities now are way in excess of what existed then and it's simply a question of re-focusing on what it is that I'm ultimately trying to achieve, and seeking the best way of doing it.  I'm not sure whether I've written about this or not, but as my studies have progressed I made tentative enquiries about doing an A level.  The University, perhaps understandably, made it clear when I asked that I was on my own with that as far as they were concerned so I put it on the proverbial back burner. 

I've on the other hand been fortunate enough to stay in touch with a small group of fellow-students from when we had our Intermediate level classes together and we used to meet up for practice during the long summer holidays.  They started having private tuition and have agreed for me to join them when I'm up and running again, which will give me the opportunity to consolidate what I've learned so far and look at finding an A level course to do in the autumn.

While I'll always regret what slipped away from me the first time all those years ago, I'm determined to do everything I possibly can to make up for it now.